Article #46865

Marmite asks: ‘Do you love me or hate me?’ Vegemite couldn’t give a stuff. It’s as dry as our Aussie humour, and I wouldn’t have it any other way

The hill I would die on is made of Vegemite. Marmite is a minuscule mound in comparison. A hapless hillock. A negligible knoll.

Vegemite is Australian penicillin. It cures everything from homesickness to heartbreak. From pleb to celeb and prime minister to prisoner, Vegemite is our culinary mainstay. Aussies are not that big on etiquette – our only breach of etiquette is to suggest that we adhere to any. But there is one cardinal sin: not to like Vegemite. It is a trait that, socially, places you just below leper and just above Maga supporter in our estimation.

Kathy Lette is a comedy writer and novelist. Her latest novel, The Sisterhood Rules, is literary Vegemite